Hello Sunshine!

So, I’ve made it through my first week of living alone and I gotta say it wasn’t that tough . . . it was kinda very easy. Even doing the dishes is an enjoyable task because they are MY dishes and I love them and want them to sparkle. I’ve never had this before. I’ve never felt like a place or things were mine and mine alone. Everything was always tied up with some man . . . speaking of some man . . .

I had visitors this weekend and during an impromptu psychic reading it was revealed that I’m about to meet someone new . . . tall, lanky (yes, I know I said I gave these sorts of boys up) with dark hair (I also gave up blondes, remember?) and he drives a truck (not sure if this is his living or his half-tonne, but there is a truck involved). Apparently this guy is going to come out of nowhere, sweep me off my feet and be “the one.” I don’t know if I believe in the concept of “the one” I’m more of a “the many” type of girl đŸ˜‰ but I’m totally up for being swept away. That could be fun.

Other things I learned from the reading that I can share are:

— my grandmother’s got about 5 years left, so this current trip to hospital is not the end

— Abby is an angel

— Samuel is extremely intelligent and very good at figuring things out

— I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be for right now, but I won’t be staying in this apartment for very long because I’ll be moving to a larger place with the guy who’s going to sweep me off my feet

And of course I was drinking a little bit too much wine during this session, so a bunch of stuff is pretty fuzzy. We had a great visit though and I’m looking forward to doing it again.

Mood: Buoyant
Drinking: Coffee
Listening To: the birds chirping from the trees in the backyard
Hair: time to get at those roots soon

Smurf’s Bathroom

So I’m loving my apartment except for one minor thing . . . the bathroom. The bathroom is small. Tiny. Really minute. I mean when you’re sitting on the toilet you can wash your feet in the shower and your hands in the sink. Very small.

It’s kind of like they designed the apartment and then realised they forgot a room and had to sneak the bathroom in at the last minute with what little space was left, where they had originally planned a closet off the laundry room. It’s really tiny.

Of course I knew the bathroom was tiny before I took the lease. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make because the rest of the place was fantastic . . . but this was before I actually took a shower . . .

My shower is hysterical. I burst out into uncontrollable giggles everytime I’m in there, because it’s just too crazy. It’s a stall, no tub. The smallest stall I’ve ever been in actually. There will be no sexual encounters happening in there. I do good to wedge myself in, without adding another person. This shower stall was created by a small person for other small people . . . perhaps Smurfs. I’m too tall for the shower head, which means I’m left doing awkward backbends in the too tight space in order to wash my hair. I think of Bill Murray in Lost in Translation everytime I’m in there and it cracks me up big time. Except Bill Murray actually had some space to move around in, you know to get in position to do the back bends or knee bends or whatever he had to do to get in the spray.

I mean I’ve got these really long limbs . . . arms, legs . . . it’s not pretty. It requires a lot of stretching and agility. I’m already more limber as a result of my showering exercises than I have been in a long time. I can’t imagine what I’ll be like months down the road.

It’s terribly funny.

I think I should join a gym and just shower there. It might be worth it.

Choose your own adventure

I haven’t tried this, no idea if it’s any fun or not, but I used to love those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books when I was a kid so I thought it was pretty cool when I stumbled on this site. Brad, the Game. Give it a try and let me know if it’s any good.

Lightning in the Forecast

Another wet dreary day on the Tantramar Marshes. What the hell is going on?! Am I not permitted even one bright sunshiny morning walk? Chance of thunder showers later today . . . which could be exciting. Not much shelter here from such things, kinda out in the big wide open. I imagine the weather will be more intense . . . and with my weather phobias and obsessions maybe kinda sorta under control, well who knows what a good dose of lightning will do. Actually, I’m quite happy that the bedroom portion of my place has no windows and electrical outlets. It’s open concept, connected to the living room/skylight but still I’ll be able to huddle back there and feel pretty secure during a storm I think. At Mom’s place I always retreated to the centre of the house to wait out such things. But even there, I never felt quite safe because there were so many electrical outlets.

But really I’m not as crazy paranoid about storms as I have been in recent years. I’m not as shell shocked any more from 9/11, West Nile, SARS, the war in Iraq and the general overwhelming scary state of the world. I’m more focused on things in my immediate vicinity, things I can control, which makes me less nervous in general and less likely to completely freak out during a thunderstorm.

I just heard Nick sigh. I looked around expecting to see him stretched out on the futon, snuffling, in the midst of a dream. Oddly enough, this doesn’t make me sad or homesick, but feels comforting. I suspect it wasn’t Nick I heard . . . but perhaps Mickey or Muffin or Dusty. It’s good to have visitors.

Mood: arthritically challenged
Drinking: Coffee
Listening To: road sounds (this is a very busy street)
Hair: I’ve loving my scrunchie!

Cooking with Abandon

Saturday night after J&J left and I was alone in my new apartment for the first time, I got hungry. I hadn’t bought much food because I wanted the opportunity to clean the kitchen from top to bottom before I filled it up with my stuff. So I made myself a peanut butter and jam sandwich. After I spread the peanut butter there was one second where I started to toss the knife into the sink to be washed and get a clean one to scoop out the jam and spread it . . . that’s what I’ve always done . . . it’s been drilled into my head since childhood — ALWAYS use a different utensil for different things so you don’t accidentally get bits of something mixed up in jars of something else. For one second I almost automatically did this thing that I’ve always done . . . and then this devilish grin spread across my face and I used the same knife for both peanut butter and jam. No sandwich ever tasted any better.

Tonight I cooked my first real meal here. Last night I made a tv dinner, but that didn’t count. Tonight I cooked pork chops and pasta and vegetables. And I covered everything in garlic, oregano, basil and black pepper. I used spices liberally and sang and smiled and giggled when nobody raged at me for stinking up the house or questioned how I could eat something so stupid. I ate my supper with a glass of pinot noir and relished every bite. Cooking is so good! Eating is better.

Mood: Joyous
Drinking: Nothing right now, tea in the future
Listening To: Law & Order Criminal Intent and the washer
Hair: I’ve got a scrunchie!

Cool Site of the Day

Gullible Info has all kinds of random facts like —

On average, a gym member who signs a 12 month contract will visit their gym eight times.

On average, a pair of sunglasses lasts for seven months before being lost.

A 20 foot oak tree produces about enough oxygen to sustain a moderately active house cat.

One in nine Europeans sleep nude.

The first commercially available television sets weighed over 700 pounds.

And all kinds of wonderfully useless stuff to fill your brains. It’s kind of fun.


My Own Life

Safe and sound. Been unpacking. Washing dishes for two days . . . there’s no good reason on earth why a single person needs so much glassware . . . finally got the phone turned on though dealing with Aliant was HELL!! I’ve never seen the like of it, honestly. I’ll give it a trial, but I may have to look to switching to Eastlink . . . maybe they’ll be better. It’s been quite the ordeal really. And I still don’t have high-speed.

Nothing but rain since the move, I felt like Noah except all alone on my ark. Late this evening the sun broke through though. Maybe tomorrow will be fantastic!

Okay, here’s the odd thing … or not so odd, depending on your point of view … I feel completely at home here, I mean COMPLETELY. It’s beyond anything I ever expected. Very surreal. I’m not completely unpacked, there’s still a ton of cleaning and organising and unpacking to be done . . . yet, I feel like I’ve arrived home after being away for a long time. Like I would feel when I hit Barnettville after being in T.O. for months on end. And I’m loving these past few days when I’ve been completely on my own, completely beyond contact with everyone, yet I sense there are people who will be in this space with me . . . friends I guess. I don’t know who. But I sense them. They’re close. I see a gathering of spirits. I feel it. I see it when I close my eyes. But I don’t recognise anyone . . . I just know they’re good people. I’m done with the bad ones. I don’t have the stomach for them anymore.

I know, I sound kind of nuts. Have I mentioned that I think I’m seeing auras around people. Not everyone. But some people. I don’t know if it’s really auras, I just see colour around some people. And I have no idea what these colours mean . . . So, I either have a brain aneurysm or else I’m getting more in tune with my psychic side. Given the options I choose the latter.

I don’t know how else to explain this feeling. I expected some sort of breakdown, some sort of grieving or fear even, but although I teared up when Rob and Amber got hitched this evening there’s been nothing else, just contentment and a sense of being exactly where I’m supposed to be, doing exactly what I’m supposed to do. There was a moment around midnight where I got a little spooked when I was taking out the garbage. My driveway is long. I’m back from the road and hidden behind trees. There were some guys staggering down the street, young guys, students maybe. I had this brief moment where I felt all exposed and kind of afraid. But it only lasted a second, literally. It left me as quickly as it came over me, replaced by this feeling that I’m home and everything is playing out exactly as it should be.

I LOVE MY APARTMENT!! I really do. I’ve never loved any place like I love this place. I made the right choice. So, I’m tired and going to bed now. Before 2 am. getting up earlier here. Physically tired from all the stairs and all the cleaning. Life is good. Just thought you should know.

Mood: Ready for bed … and it’s not even 2 am
Drinking: Organic Orange Pekoe Tea with Cream
Listening To: David Cassidy, I Think I Love You
Hair: Frizzy