Good Morning Miramichi

I stayed in bed until 10:30 today. Why? Because I felt like it. It used to be my normal time to rise every day, before the move, before I suddenly got turned onto mornings. (How did that happen anyway? Who would’ve ever thunk it?) And now it’s late, lol, I’ve missed half the day! No matter, it’ll be an early morning tomorrow regardless, which will put me back on track. Tomorrow I’m going to a 7:30 breakfast meeting at the Rodd with the Mayor. The State of the City address, I guess. Reminds me, I need to make arrangements to get a ticket today.

It’s still grey and dreary here. Cold. I have so much frigging work to do. It’s overwhelming. Life at the moment, is extremely overwhelming. But that’s okay. I’ll get through it and be better for it. Right? That’s what I keep telling myself.

Mood: buried in grey
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: my refrigerator . . . dude, i think it might be on its last
Hair: in my eyes

High School Confidential

Rough trade. Carol Pope. She remade that song for Queer as Folk, for the gay man perspective. No matter. Thinking about my high school today. I believe we’ve got a reunion in the mist. What is it about the high school reunion? Just makes you feel like an awkward teenager all over again. Our class was so small, no chance of sneaking in and not being noticed. Do I look old and tired? Sometimes I feel old and tired. Sometimes I see people younger than me who look old and tired . . . makes me wonder. Because I don’t really know. I can’t really see myself. I only exist inside my brain. Well, this weekend was a total write off. I accomplished nothing workwise. And nothing homewise. And I didn’t even get any rest. Such is life I guess.

Mood: sore
Drinking: nothing
Listening To: sirens in the distance
Hair: back in a band

Slow

I’m a real slow mover today. Both legs still semi-swollen. After 12 hours standing on concrete and the 20+ minute walk home my legs had swollen so much I was worried I wouldn’t get my pants off without cutting them. I laid with my feet elevated for a couple of hours and brought the swelling down some. I rewatched The Matador. Love it! Still. And drank wine until my aches numbed. Every joint burning today. I just want to go back to bed. I think I will in a bit after company has come and gone. Sammy haunts me. Yesterday a child in a Tommy t-shirt, I looked and thought it said Sammy Sammy Sammy Sammy all up and down across the front. But it was Tommy, of course. I need to do laundry. I am very near to being totally out of clean knickers. Keeping my wobbly bits covered is of utmost importance. Tuned into Coronation Street this morning. My, but I do love Sunday mornings in bed with CBC. Though this week I couldn’t bear to get up and make a cuppa. I would not have moved and would be there still, if the phone hadn’t rang. My bistro does brunch today, but i’ve no energy to go, no money once i got there. No energy to cook. I should put something simple on, like a roast and then just go to sleep until it’s ready. It’s a damp grey day. Perfect roast weather. What an idea!

Mood: fogged in
Drinking: coffee, the canadian kind, with cream
Listening To: refrigerator loudly humming
Hair: every which way but the way it’s supposed to be

Just Breathe

She says it best:

2 AM and I’m still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you’ll use them, however you want to

Off to the Home Show today. Another sudden twist in the road. Ducks on the water in the rain. Seagulls prancing around the back lawn. That is all.

Mood: melancholic
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: the blower’s daughter, damien rice
Hair: wet from morning shower

The Condition Worsens

So I took everything I have, sinus, pain and otherwise . . . nada! I just want to rip my head off. That might do it. Is this hay fever? Spring allergies? What the frig! It’s definitely sinus, though I’ve no stuffyness, no nasal drip. I’ve just got pressure. Lots and lots of pressure. In the sinus cavity. In behind my eyes. In my head. It’s so hard to focus, so difficult to think. And I really, really, really need to be able to think right now. Sammy is lost. And I’m the only one who can help him. Nobody else is gonna do it. And now suddenly I’m in the home show. Wham! Bam! Thank you M’am! Just like that. Poof! Better than David Copperfield. Swollen ankles and all. If I had Adam Sandler’s remote from Click, I’d fast forward through this part. I’m thinking we need a wrap party at the end of this issue. A gathering to blow off steam. I know nobody else is there yet. The back end production/design/distribution part hasn’t begun yet. It might even seem a bit far off yet to those guys. I’m always the first to tilt into the chaos. It’s the writing. I take the writing too seriously, because dammit, I’m a writer. I’m like the artist playing pictionary. You just want to strike me and yell, “Do stick people for Christsake!!” I can’t do stick people. I probably shouldn’t be writing everything when I can’t do stick people.

Went out to supper this evening. A celebration of sorts. My sister is doing well, finding her way, building bridges, laying bricks, climbing the ladder. She’s on her way and I wanted to acknowledge that in some small way. So we went for dinner at Bistro 140, which is rapidly becoming my absolute favorite place. Though I’ve only been twice. They are two for two and I’ll be back for thirds with pleasure! Tonight I tried the pecan chicken with rice pilaf and the drumstick square for dessert. They were busy and we didn’t have a reservation (I highly recommend calling ahead and making a reservation if you plan to go on the weekend as both times I’ve been, they’ve been packed), but we managed to snag a table by the bar (the last one at that time.) We ordered drinks and talked for awhile and then after quite awhile we were served complimentary house salads and a basket of rolls because the kitchen was backed up. A welcome surprise! The wait staff are among the best trained I’ve seen anywhere. Very professional. Very much on top of things. Despite being extremely busy. Now that I think of it, I should have tipped more. The raspberry vinegarette dressing was superb!

My sister is a somewhat fussy eater. She is generally afraid to try new things, to try sauces and things. So she got the pork without the mushroom sauce. I had it last week with the mushroom sauce and it was divine. But my chicken! The chicken was something else entirely. Special! I wasn’t sure I’d enjoy the djion mustard sauce, but it was very subtle and nice not overpowering at all. But the highlight was the dessert. I had never had a drumstick square before. And now I will dream about them and seek out recipes and maybe even attempt to make my own. Oh my God! It was the most amazing thing I’ve had in a really, really, really long time. Even better than those Lindt eggs that were out at Easter. I nearly pulled a Meg Ryan’s Sally right at the table in front of everyone. The waitress asked how it was and I was speechless with huge eyes. An experience.

I saw many plates of pasta coming out of the kitchen and it looked delicious. I’ve heard they make their own pasta. And it is a specialty with many dishes on the menu, so I think next time I will try it. Who can I get to go eat with me next Friday night? Volunteers?

Mood: compacted
Drinking: red stuff
Listening To: train whistle
Hair: flippy

Unwell

I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know, right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know, right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Low tide, water smooth like a pane of glass. Gorgeous. New pollutant on the river this morning. Blackish smoke drifting up and over the water. Like they sent out one big shot of crap, sneak it out early when people aren’t paying attention. Weird.

I’m not well. Haven’t been since yesterday afternoon sometime. Not sure what’s up, slight stomach virus maybe? Allergies? Sinus? Got some stomach stuff happening, like pain, not nausea. Major headache happening. Pain around my eyes. Hard to concentrate and focus. Difficulty sleeping last night. Restless. Unpleasant thoughts.

Couldn’t go for a walk last night because I’m swollen again. Ankles mostly. Still semi-swollen this morning. Gonna have to get horizontal for a time. Perhaps I need to watch another movie besides The Wizard of Oz. Everyday this week I’ve watched the Wizard. Bits and pieces, not all of it, everyday. I’m about to implode from the pressure of it all. Great practice for the 3-day novel contest. If I live to see the day, I may even enter. Somehow I think that would be easier though, because that would be my story. This isn’t. I don’t know what this is. It’s the reason artists drink. To have done it right I should have started last June. I’m the Debbie Macomber of tourism writing.

It would be helpful if my head wasn’t splitting in two. I have taken some ibuprofen and now don’t want to dump sinus meds on top, lest I O.D. and people blame Sammy, lol. So, I’ll wait a bit, then pop the non-drowsy sinus meds. They always make me happy.

Not that I’m unhappy, I’m just unwell. Watery eyes, squinting because it hurts to see. I am starting to see the parallels though. You watch the Wiz everyday, and you start to see it. The problem is delicate. The balancing act. How to say it all, let the story build and develop in a natural way, and get everyone in and have it all resolved in 7000ish words. This is the challenge. Tight writing takes some time. Time has not been my friend on this project. At this point one just has to take a deep breath and pray this thing comes together. Cuz right now alls I got is a bunch of disjointed overwritten crap. Oy!

Yes, I know, I ALWAYS say that . . . but this time is different. This time I’ve got a friggin sinus headache! Ok, enough freaking out. Time to get back to it. I can’t get over how calm the water is even as the tide shifts. What a day!

Mood: achy
Drinking: coffee, mostly black, juice, 100% blackberry & pomegranate
Listening To: comfortably numb, the scissor sisters
Hair: in the blue speckled headband

Cookies

I bought a box of girl guide cookies to support my niece in Brownies. The original kind, not the mint ones. I always liked the original ones best, especially the vanilla flavour, but alas like everything else in the world, Girl Guide cookies have changed đŸ˜¦ They’re not what I remember. Still, I’m eating them.

Last night I went to a special event at O’Donaghue’s Pub in Chatham. It was the first time I’d been there when there were a lot of other people, but it won’t be the last. I may not have been able to find decent housing on that side of the river, but I can certainly find my way over there to have fun. A group of international journalists on a fishing trip had been invited to enjoy an evening of Miramichi hospitality and have an audience with the Premier. Lovely fellows. I had the opportunity to chat with a few of them and get some advice for BnM. One of the men seemed particularly enthusiastic about it, and I came away with his contact information for follow-up. I met the Premier and he told me he loves what we’re doing and to keep up the great work. I was a bit surprised he had seen it, but I know we had distributed copies to the delegation, so perhaps it’s not such a long shot.

Connie & Paul, Owen Murdoch and the legendary Matilda Murdoch were on hand for an old fashioned Miramichi Kitchen Party that had Premier Graham rolling up his sleeves and playing the spoons right along with them. Raw footage from a documentary film being made for a German audience was shown. Some following a truck driver I know in Blackville, but more from down the Bay with generations of fishermen ice fishing smelts. Afterward the eldest man from the film stood and spoke about their way of life and how it has changed since he first started and also about the Escuminac Disaster. The foreign press asked questions and then Connie & Paul sang the saddest song about the women who must wait for their men at sea.

All in all, not a bad way to spend an evening.

Mood: headachy
Drinking: coffee
Listening To: muted sounds of other people’s lives around me
Hair: thick, straight, and stubborn