The other day I had a sulky day of depression where I literally just stayed on the couch all day eating cupcakes, french fries, wieners, canned peas & carrots, and microwaved popcorn smothered in Ketchup flavoured seasoning; drinking a ton of coffee, a couple of glasses of wine and one cup of hot chocolate with an ounce of brandy added for zip; and watching documentaries on Netflix.
I had once again let my boyfriend’s flighty attitude toward life get under my skin. After this many years together you might think I would be acclimated to it by now, I would expect it and never be surprised by anything, but you would be wrong. My recovery might be quicker when I’m blindsided, but I still get blindsided.
I went to Sackville on Saturday to hear a talk given by a friend who attended a week long workshop in Colorado last year by the author of Women Who Run With the Wolves.
I have been out of the creative scene for years now, and honestly I wasn’t feeling any urge or pressure to reconnect with it. I went to this presentation because a) my friend invited me and I wanted to be there to support her and b) it was happening in Sackville, where I lived for two years, really miss and will seize any opportunity to visit.
As far as the talk itself, I didn’t really have any expectations. My friend and I had spoken at length last fall about her experience in Colorado, so I felt like I had a good understanding of it and I wouldn’t be likely to have any AHA moments. I wasn’t really thinking that I would be impacted in any way personally, other than it would be great to see old friends and hang out for a bit. Continue reading “Walking Through Ashes in Eden”
Yesterday was pretty awesome day because I got to go see the amazing Mo Kenney with Joel Plaskett and The Emergency in concert. And I got to take my niece to her first ever concert! It was an awesome-tastic experience! My boyfriend wasn’t too keen based on the tunes I had played for him but even though I had never seen these performers live before I knew they were going to be good and wow! They did not disappoint!
So yesterday I restarted my SparkPeople journey and also took a few minutes to reset my vibration. I wrote 20 positive affirmations, enlarged them so they filled an entire page and then printed three copies.
The first copy I taped to the ceiling right above my bed so it’s the first thing I will see every morning. The second copy I taped to the shelf in my bathroom so it is the thing I see when I go to the toilet. And the third copy I taped to the wall right above my computer screen at my desk, so I see it all day while I am working. I have been constantly repeating the affirmations to myself and out loud. Continue reading “#1: I Am Wealthy”
I haven’t written in awhile. I hurt my arm in January. At first I thought it was just a sore muscle (I had used the Wii Fit and done some tricky yoga poses). But it has turned out to be something more serious. A frozen shoulder, apparently. I have had one appointment with an osteopath and I have another scheduled later this week. She helped immensely for a couple of days about a month ago. I am very much in need of a break from the pain, so even if I only get a few days respite again, it is well worth the expense.
I kind of feel like I’ve been losing my mind. Again. Still? I don’t know if it’s just the constant physical agony, the long depressing winter that doesn’t ever seem to end here, or what. But something has got to give. I can’t continue this way. I have been very depressed. I have gained 40 pounds since this time last year, 30 of those just since Christmas. I have been feeling very vulnerable and helpless. That’s never a good thing.
So today, even as I stand up to my knees in the rubble of this chaos, I am taking hold of the reins and pointing this horse and buggy on the path to abundance and gratitude. I logged into SparkPeople. I weighed myself. I put on my Spark activity tracker. I tracked my water and breakfast (even if it was only coffee). I set new weight loss goals. I am breathing deep and going to work.
Yesterday was not a great day. I stayed in bed too late, just managed to eek out the bare minimum requirements for a work day and ended up carrying over a whole lot of tasks from yesterday to today.
Because I slept late yesterday, I really wasn’t tired last night so I stayed up super late watching shows on my computer. I knew if I went in the bedroom to my comfy bed and a room that stays pretty dark all day until the sun comes around the building to set in the evening, I would sleep late again this morning and begin a dangerous pattern. So instead I slept on the couch in the living room.
I had a really good day yesterday. The new day planning software is a little buggy in that recurring tasks don’t leave the list when you’ve completed them and crossed them off, which is annoying. But other than that I kind of like the feel of the program and the way it’s laid out. I may just turn off the recurring thing and write a note to myself in the notes part to just change the date manually when the task is done for that day. Or next week I might try the other program I have and see if it’s better.